Stephanie O'Brien
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Media Attitudes on Sex and Violence. Especially Sex.

31/3/2015

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Picture
Don't worry, America. Canada's right there with you, it seems.
There's a certain quirk of culture and censorship that I've often found strange: the media's bipolar relationship with sex, especially when it's so comfortable with portrayals of violence.

To a degree, I can understand why it's considered safer to expose children to violence than sex. It's harder for a couple of five-year-olds to get their hands on bazookas and go on a rampage than it is for them to sneak out of sight and start experimenting with each others' bodies, so it's understandable that parents would be more concerned about children imitating sex scenes than scenes of violence.

But at the same time, I can't help but think that our culture's split-personality stance on sex is probably more damaging than any gun-heavy summer blockbuster.

Granted, I'm very firmly in the "not before marriage" camp. For one thing, I'm a Christian. For another, logistics. No premarital pregnancies, STDs, pretend-to-love-you-to-get-sex guys, or it-was-supposed-to-be-just-fun-but-now-I'm-emotionally-attached scenarios for me. There's a lot of BS that you get to skip by waiting.

But that doesn't stop me from being bothered by the attitudes our culture displays toward sex. Handled responsibly, sex isn't dirty, unnatural, or evil. And yet, it's stigmatized, and instead of being taught to enjoy and appreciate it in a responsible manner, children are taught that it's simultaneously desperately needed and shameful.

People who seek out and enjoy sex are often labeled "bad girls" or "bad boys". Sex techniques are described as 'naughty'. And yet, people who don't have enough sex are often portrayed as losers, maladjusted, or undesirable.

In an action movie, a woman's level of overt sexiness is often proportionate to how dangerous she is. Enjoy, because that skin is there for your benefit, but also judge her for it; look but don't love.

Laugh at the guy who can't get women to have sex with him, and admire the one who can. After all, if you're a virgin, you're not really a man yet... right?

Don't advertise if you're not selling. What do you mean you're wearing skimpy clothing because the weather's hot, or you're not wearing a bra because bras are uncomfortable, and you're not trying to advertise anything? Don't you know that all nudity, near-nudity or semblance of nudity is automatically sexual and perverted?

And how DARE that author write an explicit sex scene? Time to stop reading them, because they described a penis entering a vagina; they should have stuck with writing descriptions of swords entering vital organs.

So many mixed messages, so many double standards, and so many totally twisted biases.

Which one bothers you the most?

And what do you think would be a healthier attitude for our culture to take toward sex and storytelling?

I look forward to reading your comments.
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    Stephanie is the author of My Fugitive and several upcoming books. She enjoys connecting with her readers and building a community of  fiction fans here on this blog.

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