Have you ever run into a trope, cliché or character type that annoyed you every time you saw it?
I've got a few, and just last night one of them reared its head in a movie I was watching. I'll be vague in order to avoid spoilers, but in this movie, the female protagonist was struggling to recover from events that had left her deeply traumatized.
She was emotionally wounded, scared, fighting to cope, and clearly not ready for romance... so what does the guy she's talking with do?
Kisses her, even though she's clearly not receptive to it, because "I had to do that, just once."
And then, the trauma continues, because the movie's just starting, and sci-fi action movies don't tend to focus on protagonists with safe, happy lives. The heroine continues fighting to cope, bearing scars that her male counterpart doesn't seem to share, and on top of that, soon she has to deal with the fact that he has a crush on her, and isn't content to leave it at a level she's OK with.
Granted, these two male characters genuinely cared about her. They wanted to help, and the second one did eventually back it off to a more respectful level. And this was one of the tamer examples. But I'm tired of this kind of behavior being seen as healthy or romantic, because it really isn't.
I've got a few, and just last night one of them reared its head in a movie I was watching. I'll be vague in order to avoid spoilers, but in this movie, the female protagonist was struggling to recover from events that had left her deeply traumatized.
She was emotionally wounded, scared, fighting to cope, and clearly not ready for romance... so what does the guy she's talking with do?
Kisses her, even though she's clearly not receptive to it, because "I had to do that, just once."
And then, the trauma continues, because the movie's just starting, and sci-fi action movies don't tend to focus on protagonists with safe, happy lives. The heroine continues fighting to cope, bearing scars that her male counterpart doesn't seem to share, and on top of that, soon she has to deal with the fact that he has a crush on her, and isn't content to leave it at a level she's OK with.
Granted, these two male characters genuinely cared about her. They wanted to help, and the second one did eventually back it off to a more respectful level. And this was one of the tamer examples. But I'm tired of this kind of behavior being seen as healthy or romantic, because it really isn't.
Just ask her. She's been there.
When did storytellers get the idea that, once a woman has said 'no', continuing to push the issue is romantic? Why do some of them feel the need to pretend that nagging, emotional blackmail via gifts, flattery or fake friendship, spectacular gestures, and sheer persistence will be rewarded with love?
That kind of behavior is basically another way of saying, "I don't care what you want, and I don't care that committing to me means permanently giving up your dream of being with a person with whom you're actually in love. I want you, and I won't leave you in peace or let you get on with your life until you give me what I want."
I actually had a guy try that with me. After I told him I wasn't attracted to him, he told me, in these exact words, "I will never stop pursuing you".
Ack.
If he was someone with whom I WANTED to be in a relationship, it would have been romantic. But the fact that those words came as a deliberate expression of blatant disregard for my wishes made it really creepy.
On top of that, he went on to make the classic accusation that "girls are only interested in jerks, but you'll grow out of it".
Um... no.
Whether you're male or female, disregarding your love interest's desires, and ignoring their right to choose whether or not they want to be with you, isn't 'nice'. It actually makes you a jerk.
Have you seen this pop up in books, shows or movies? How did you feel about it?
That kind of behavior is basically another way of saying, "I don't care what you want, and I don't care that committing to me means permanently giving up your dream of being with a person with whom you're actually in love. I want you, and I won't leave you in peace or let you get on with your life until you give me what I want."
I actually had a guy try that with me. After I told him I wasn't attracted to him, he told me, in these exact words, "I will never stop pursuing you".
Ack.
If he was someone with whom I WANTED to be in a relationship, it would have been romantic. But the fact that those words came as a deliberate expression of blatant disregard for my wishes made it really creepy.
On top of that, he went on to make the classic accusation that "girls are only interested in jerks, but you'll grow out of it".
Um... no.
Whether you're male or female, disregarding your love interest's desires, and ignoring their right to choose whether or not they want to be with you, isn't 'nice'. It actually makes you a jerk.
Have you seen this pop up in books, shows or movies? How did you feel about it?
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