There are three things you need to know about me. OK, maybe you don't NEED to in order to keep breathing, but for today's topic, they're pretty important.

The first is that I'm a good writer. And I don't just mean in the area of writing novels. I also do email marketing, web pages, poetry, songs, and philosophical debates about the morality of fictional characters on Facebook.

Today, we're talking about songs. Which brings us to number two...

I'm not that great a singer.

OK, sometimes I am, but that's usually when a piece of recording equipment isn't lurking nearby to scare 70% of my vocal power back into my chest. Which, of course, means all my best singing moments go uncaptured, leaving me to silently fume at my own attempts to record my voice and wonder why the frell I can't sound as good on my computer as I do while sweeping dust and drywall out of a tenant's basement.

Of course, the fact that the aforementioned recording equipment is a tad subpar doesn't do me any favors. I FINALLY manage to get my voice to cooperate, only to discover that the recorded version covered in static. Like an unskilled baker finally making a perfect cake, only to have a cat pee on it.

At that point, I take a deep breath, and distract myself from the need to throw the headset into the wall.

Fortunately, that's when the third thing comes into play:

When I really want to do something, I'm not in the habit of allowing a lack of needed skills and equipment to stop me. Just because I can't get volume from my vocal cords doesn't mean I can't get it elsewhere.

So, is this me writing a blog post just to admit to you that I'm one of those singers who uses technology to make up for a lack of talent?

Yes. And no.

This is me writing a blog post to say that even though I'm only partly trained in one instrument, my singing voice isn't the strongest, and my headset sometimes tries to help by adding its own sounds to the mix, I didn't let that stop me.

I wanted to write a song for my favorite character from my favorite series, frell it, and what's more, I wanted it to have instrumentals and everything.

So I took some of the soundtrack from said series, remixed the crap out of it, sang the song six or seven times, and combined the best parts from all of those vocal samples. When I decided that I didn't like how I sang some parts, I redid them and added them in.

So what's the takeaway?

For one thing, I'm inspirational. :) I am proof that just because you aren't equipped to do something the traditional way, that doesn't mean you have to give up on doing it at all.

For another, watch this video. Seriously. I don't care if I just did the worst job of selling something that any marketing expert ever did. It's not like you're paying me anyway. :P So if you like Farscape, and especially if you like seeing an unusual take on a character, enjoy the fruits of my efforts.

Having a character just come in and establish himself is all well and good - in fact, I encourage it.

But I have a sneaking suspicion that he might have shot one of the other characters somewhere offscreen, hidden the body, and stolen his place in the book, because suddenly one of the other side characters has become superfluous and Jack has taken his role.

Though technically, since the other character never actually made it onto the screen, I suppose it's more like Jack aborted him from my mind?

...Well. That got a bit more grim and messy than I'd planned on when I started writing this blog post.

On to lighter things.

On a happier note, I'm rather happy with this new addition to the Catgirl cannon. His steady, easygoing and knowledgeable nature make Jack a great counterbalance to the inexperienced Sam's persnickety personality, and it looks like he'll be a good mentor figure to the floundering college boy.

The guys are playing off each other really well, and when a character just swans in and establishes himself without any real work on my part, it's usually a really good sign.

Have you ordered your copy of Catgirl Roommate yet? If not, click the button below to visit its page!

In real life, a knockout blow to the head is a serious issue. According to  brainandspinalcord.org, depending on the location and severity of the blow, it can cause brief unconsciousness, as well as a plethora of other complications, including:

• Respiratory issues
  
• Convulsions
  
• Headaches
  
• Dizziness
  
• Nausea and vomiting
  
• Cerebrospinal fluid leaking from nose or ears
  
• Speech and language problems
  
• Vision issues
  
• Emotional and behavioral changes
  

Further internet research indicates that if the victim DOES lose consciousness for more than a few minutes, serious brain damage is very likely.

This, of course, is a problem for fiction writers like me. Sometimes, you need a character to be out cold for a few hours, and a quick smack to the noggin seems like such a convenient way to do it.

As a result, many authors and filmmakers focus on the "unconsciousness" part, while ignoring all the other possible factors. Brain damage, vomiting, and respiratory issues almost never happen, and sometimes, even bruising is blithely ignored. For that matter, even the fact that unconsciousness is not likely to last long WITHOUT major side effects tends to go out the window.

And guess what? It gets worse! A certain level of departure from reality is usually accepted in fiction, but it has to be consistent within the same universe. Which, in the case of head damage, it usually isn't.

If two characters are fighting each other, they can pound on each other for ten on-screen minutes straight and barely slow down. But if one character needs to knock another out, and hits them on the head while they're off-guard? *finger snap* They're down.

This tendency bugs me enough that, for one of my larger and more violent writing projects, I actually keep a file in which I log all of my characters' personalities, their backstories, and yes, their physical injuries.

I make notes of how much this damage should realistically slow them down, and write their subsequent scenes accordingly.

And for the love of realism, I don't use blunt cranial trauma to knock people out. Not unless I want them to have brain damage. Which, in one case, the victim actually will.

Does this kind of thing bug you, too? Did you know about it before I wrote this post?

I look forward to reading your comments.

There's plenty of opportunity for emotional drama when a hero's loved one turns, and the baddies can be slaughtered with no pesky moral questions of how many people you can kill to save your team before you become the bad guy.

But when it comes to zombie stories, I have good news and bad news...

The bad news:

Unfortunately for some fiction stories, and fortunately for those of us in real life who prefer our neighbourhoods WITHOUT a shambling horde of brain-eating, bloodstained ex-people, the chances of a traditional, bite-style zombie apocalypse actually getting off the ground are pretty much nil.

Cracked.com shared 7 scientific reasons why a zombie outbreak would fail quickly, and today, I'm going to infect you with that knowledge.

The good news:

If you're a nerd who's always dreamed of earning his badass cred by destroying the undead, you might be one of those 7 reasons. If you can outmaneuver a shambling, brain-eating, bloodstained ex-person. Or if you have a gun.