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How to Write a Gripping, Atmospheric Scene

25/3/2014

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Sometimes, when I'm writing a scene, I have specific things I want to get done in it.

Lines have to be spoken, actions have to be taken, and then the characters can move on.

When I write the scene in this way, it's... functional. It gets the job done, and moves the story along. But it just doesn't have the emotion and magic that I want to infuse it with.

Have you ever had that problem? A time when you were writing something, and you knew that all the requisite information was being conveyed, but you just weren't feeling it?

One of the ways I've found to deal with that is to stop and really picture what's happening in the scene. Imagine the details. Lighting. Temperature. Sounds. The things that linger in the air.

What is the POV character feeling at that moment? What do they notice, in their current state? How are their perceptions affected by the way they feel at that moment?

It's the difference between saying "He walked across the crosswalk to greet his girlfriend, who had just gotten home from a year-long study trip", and

"As he reached the edge of the curb, time seemed to slow down. The clouded sky pressed down around him, thickening the air, and he had to remind himself to take a breath before stepping onto the street.

People were moving, crowding around him, a tangible blur of clothing and noise. His eyes seemed to reflexively filter them out, searching for the one crisp, clear face on which they longed to focus.

Would she remember him as vividly as he remembered her? Had she missed him? Or had the year they'd spent apart weakened their bond, maybe even tempted his girlfriend of six months to seek out other company?

A third of the way, halfway, all the way across. For a moment, he stood alone in the crowd, searching the tide of faces... and then, there she was."

I don't know about you, but that second one definitely draws me in more, and makes me more interested in knowing what happens next.

What about you? What methods have you found to infuse interest and emotion into what could have been a dry, merely functional scene? I look forward to reading about them in the comments.

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    Stephanie is the author of My Fugitive, Voice of a Silent Fugitive, Heroic Lies, and Catgirl Roommate, as well as the artist behind the Undertale webcomic Just Cause.

    This blog often updates with new stories and artwork, so please keep checking in!

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