This blog post is for my fellow Farscape fans, and it’s dedicated to a weird realization I recently had. So...
What’s black and white and black and white and black and white?
What’s black and white and black and white and black and white?
Nothing you want in the same mob bank as you.
I’ll give you a few hints...
He’s a bit taller than average, and very physically strong.
He’s exceptionally polite, but will keep pushing ruthlessly toward his goals... politely.
He’s hard to drive to violence, and will usually snarl long before he does any actual harm... but you don’t want to be the one to push him too far.
He suffers from chronic health problems, which leads him to walk stiffly, require regular medical attention, and, on occasion, randomly vomit foam.
He has a high-pitched voice, and while using it, will sometimes make deep purring noises.
He wears a black mask, which does little to conceal the fact that his life has left him with a few physical deformities.
His daunting appearance notwithstanding, he’s very physically affectionate, and likes licking people. Either because of this, or despite it, he has a penchant for surrounding himself with beautiful women.
If you withhold something he wants from him, he WILL follow you around, nagging you for it. For as long as it takes.
All of this leads me to conclude...
He’s a bit taller than average, and very physically strong.
He’s exceptionally polite, but will keep pushing ruthlessly toward his goals... politely.
He’s hard to drive to violence, and will usually snarl long before he does any actual harm... but you don’t want to be the one to push him too far.
He suffers from chronic health problems, which leads him to walk stiffly, require regular medical attention, and, on occasion, randomly vomit foam.
He has a high-pitched voice, and while using it, will sometimes make deep purring noises.
He wears a black mask, which does little to conceal the fact that his life has left him with a few physical deformities.
His daunting appearance notwithstanding, he’s very physically affectionate, and likes licking people. Either because of this, or despite it, he has a penchant for surrounding himself with beautiful women.
If you withhold something he wants from him, he WILL follow you around, nagging you for it. For as long as it takes.
All of this leads me to conclude...
My cat is Scorpius.
Fear my blurry furry sci-fi antagonist.
He’s big and gentle, he'll purr at you while you wash his muddy paws (yet keep trying to walk out of the bathtub the whole time), and if there’s a sufficiently flimsy door between him and what he wants, he WILL punch a hole in it. (Based on a true case of vandalism.)
He’ll put up with both regular injections and me forcing a variety of medicines down his throat to combat his kidney problems, and even when he does eventually start to thrash and snarl, he never takes swing at me. (He reserves his violence for times when other cats get persistent about pissing him off.)
Over the years, he’s accumulated a torn ear, an abbreviated tail, and one pupil that doesn’t dilate properly, lending him a positively brutish and psychotic appearance when he’s annoyed. Despite this, he has a posse of loving fangirls both at home and at the vet’s office, and seeks as much physical affection as he can possibly elicit from both humans and his fellow cats, including individuals he chases around and who don’t want him to touch them.
So, there we go. My sweet, loving, affectionate cat is a sci-fi antagonist. Who happens to love climbing into bed with me at night.
He’ll put up with both regular injections and me forcing a variety of medicines down his throat to combat his kidney problems, and even when he does eventually start to thrash and snarl, he never takes swing at me. (He reserves his violence for times when other cats get persistent about pissing him off.)
Over the years, he’s accumulated a torn ear, an abbreviated tail, and one pupil that doesn’t dilate properly, lending him a positively brutish and psychotic appearance when he’s annoyed. Despite this, he has a posse of loving fangirls both at home and at the vet’s office, and seeks as much physical affection as he can possibly elicit from both humans and his fellow cats, including individuals he chases around and who don’t want him to touch them.
So, there we go. My sweet, loving, affectionate cat is a sci-fi antagonist. Who happens to love climbing into bed with me at night.
Burn with envy, boys and fangirls.
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