Stephanie O'Brien
  • Home
    • About Stephanie
    • Privacy Policy
  • Stories
    • Novels >
      • The Silent Fugitive Series >
        • My Fugitive
        • Voice of a Silent Fugitive
        • Silent Fugitive: The Complete Series
      • Heroic Lies
      • Catgirl Roommate
    • Short Stories >
      • The Aristocrats and the Beasts
      • Upholding the Covenant
      • The Echoes In Our Heart
      • Living Through You
    • Fanfiction >
      • Undertale - Just Cause >
        • Just Cause, Chapter 2
        • Just Cause, Chapter 3
        • Just Cause, Chapter 4
        • Just Cause, Chapter 5
        • Just Cause, Chapter 6
        • Just Cause, Chapter 7
        • Just Cause, Chapter 8
        • Just Cause, Chapter 9
        • Just Cause, Chapter 10
        • Just Cause, Chapter 11
        • Just Cause, Chapter 12
        • Just Cause, Chapter 13
        • Just Cause, Chapter 14
        • Just Cause, Chapter 15
        • Just Cause, Chapter 16
        • Just Cause, Chapter 17
        • Just Cause, Chapter 18
      • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand >
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 2
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 3
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 4
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 5
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 6
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 7
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 8
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 8
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 9
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 10
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 11
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 12
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 13
        • Skyrim - Your Truth Cannot Stand, Chapter 14
      • Farscape - Means to an End
      • Don't Starve - Four Times I Begged Them
      • Avengers Endgame - Baby Pictures: How Endgame Should Have Ended
      • Subnautica Below Zero - It Will Be Okay
      • Subnautica Below Zero - Regrets of Sellswords and Scientists
      • Subnautica Below Zero - Naked Secrecy
      • Subnautica Below Zero - I Wish You Were​
      • Wakfu - Echoes of Bitter Comfort
    • Undertale Webcomic - Just Cause
  • Art & Commissions
    • Commissions
    • NFTs
    • Undertale Fan Art
    • Farscape pictures
  • Merch
    • Pride flag art
    • Abstract art
    • Symmetrical art
    • Floral art
    • Animal and People Art
    • Text Art
  • Videos
    • Art Videos
    • All Farscape Videos
    • Funny Farscape Videos
    • Peaceful Farscape Videos
    • Energetic Farscape Videos
    • Farscape Songs
    • Undertale Videos
    • Extended Songs
  • Patreon & Ko-Fi
    • Patreon
    • Ko-Fi
  • Contact
  • Blog

Why I Hope Star-Lord and Gamora Don't Become a Couple

3/10/2017

0 Comments

 
When I first watched Guardians of the Galaxy 2, I was initially thrilled.

​The fight scenes were great, I found the humor much funnier than the jokes in the first installment, and I loved the way they played with perspectives, lighting and camera angles in some of the scenes.


Also, while the villain (who will obviously not be named) is easily outdone by antagonists like Farscape's Scorpius or The Operative from Firefly's wrap-up movie Serenity, there's a definite improvement over the generic blandness that was Ronan.

To me, it's one of those rare movies that's better than the one that preceded it, and I liked almost everything about it, except for one thing: the relationship between Peter Quill and Gamora.
Picture
Why does the Star-Lord/Gamora ship bug me so much?

No, it's not just the mind-numbing predictability of the fact that if the protagonist is male, and a physically attractive female happens to be a major member of the cast, they'll most likely get together - especially if they argue with each other.

Heck, this mandatory component of a happy ending doesn't even require that the female is a major character, or even that she's really a character.

She could be the barely-mentioned non-character who gets handed to him like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box as a reward for his heroics, no relationship development needed, as long as the requirement that a happy ending must include romance is fulfilled.

That pet peeve of mine notwithstanding, the bland obviousness of the couple is forgivable. It's a big obstacle to me actually LIKING the ship, but it isn't what makes me wish the ship would sink.

It was two scenes in particular that ruined the Peter/Gamora ship for me.

​Let's look at the first and worst of them:

Peter: (Pulls Gamora into a dance.)

Gamora: What are you doing, Peter?

Peter: Dance with me.

Gamora: I'm not going to dance with you.

Peter: (Ignores what she just said and keeps dancing with her.)

Well, isn't that cute. He loves her so much that he insists on sharing an activity he enjoys with her, even though she just said "no", to prove to himself that they're compatible.

Maybe you're saying, "What's wrong with that?"

First off, imagine if you were standing in a bar, and some guy just grabbed you and started dancing with you. You told him no, which SHOULD be the end of it... but he just keeps dancing with you.

Granted, Peter and Gamora know each other, so it isn't QUITE as creepy as the stranger-in-a-bar scenario. But it doesn't stop there.

After Gamora threatens to kill him if he ever tells anyone about this (in case you were worried that I was going to focus solely on the man's questionable relationship skills), the conversation continues:

Peter: When are we gonna do something about this unspoken thing between us?

Gamora: What unspoken thing?

Peter: This... Cheers, Sam and Diane... a guy and a girl on a TV show who dig each other... but never say it because if they do, the ratings would go down... sort of thing.

Gamora: There's no unspoken thing.

Peter: Well, it's a catch-22, because if you said it, then it would be spoken, and you would be a liar. So, by not saying it... you are telling the truth, and admitting that there is.

Me:​ Um... WHAT. For one thing, that doesn't make sense. How does her saying there is no unspoken thing constitute admitting that there is an unspoken thing?

​Now you're just twisting her words, and refusing to hear anything but what you WANT to hear, no matter how nonsensical.

And, more importantly, SHE JUST SAID NO. And when a woman (or ANY love interest of any gender or lack thereof) says no, that's the part where you back off.


But what if there IS an unspoken thing, and they just don't know or won't admit to it?
​
Sure, you might be noticing something that they're not. Or you could be projecting your own wishes onto them. Or maybe they really aren't interested yet, but will start to feel differently as the relationship evolves.

But no matter which of those scenarios you're looking at, the basic rule holds: when someone says no, ESPECIALLY in the area of romance, you respect their boundaries and their right to make their own decisions, and you back the heck off.

Does Peter do that?

​No.

And not only does he blatantly ignore her "no" twice in quick succession, but now he's trying to twist her words so that no matter what she says or how clearly she says it, her "no" means "yes" to him.

Now picture that happening in the bedroom.

Are you starting to see how creepy this is? Guess what  - it gets worse.

In case you still think this "no"-defying behavior is romantic or at least OK, I've got bad news:

Outside of sugarcoated fictionland, where toxic relationship behavior is played off as harmless and is even romanticized, refusing to accept a love interest's "no" and disrespecting their physical boundaries are actually signs of a potential date rapist.

Now, you might be thinking, "You're blowing this out of proportion. Peter's a good guy. He would never rape Gamora."

And you're right about part of that - of course Peter wouldn't rape Gamora.

For one thing, he isn't that kind of person.

​For another, she's a highly trained killer who would force-feed him his own penis in less time than it would take to say "I've made a tactical error".

And for a third, like I noted above, this is sugarcoated wish-fulfillment fictionland.

In stories like this, the fantasy that "The woman I want doesn't REALLY mean 'no'; she's just playing hard to get, or she doesn't know what she wants, or she doesn't want to be seen as a slut" is treated as an accurate perception, and violating her boundaries by keeping on pushing when she's already said "no" is treated like it's romantic instead of the warning sign that it is.

And that's where the second ship-killing scene comes in: the part where Gamora says "It's just an unspoken thing".

Because it's not like her "no" actually MEANT anything; she was just a confused, frigid woman who didn't know or wouldn't admit that she really was in love with the guy she was telling to back off, right?

If this were an isolated incident with no real-world implications, it wouldn't bother me as much.

Unfortunately, stories like this are symptomatic of a widespread myth that "no means yes", which causes vast amounts of suffering in real-world people, many of whom probably ignored the warning signs of a potential rapist because pop culture had taught them that continuing to push after hearing "no" is romantic, not threatening.

And it doesn't just affect the recipient of the unwanted attention - it also affects well-meaning non-rapist pursuers who think they're doing the right thing by continuing to push, because that's what they were taught.

All that being the case, I was very disappointed in Guardians of the Galaxy for supporting this myth by rewarding Star-Lord for ignoring Gamora's clearly expressed opinions and desires.

In reality, most targets of unwanted pursuit are not trained assassins who could easily fend off a pursuer who's decided to just keep doing what they want regardless of their love interest's wishes.​

For real people, when someone keeps pushing after they've said "no", it isn't sexy or romantic. It's annoying at best, often scary, and at worst, a sign that they're in danger of suffering serious physical and/or psychological harm.

But what about Gamora threatening to kill him? Why does that only warrant a brief mention?

Because anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows that threatening to kill people is bad.

You don't need an article from me to tell you that, though there is a disturbing trend in fiction where female violence against males is downplayed, probably because women are still perceived (on an emotional level, if not an intellectual one) as being less potent and dangerous than males.

But when it comes to ignoring a prospective or current partner's "no", many people sincerely believe that that's OK or even good.

This results in soon-to-be victims ignoring the warning signs that they were trained to see as a positive, and non-predators inadvertently making themselves look like potential rapists who should be avoided.

The Guardians franchise seriously needs a scene where someone - preferably Rocket - calls Peter out on his boundary-busting crap.

Partly for the reasons outlined above, and partly because a cranky racoon with terrible relationship skills giving Peter relationship advice is a funny mental image.

Are you sick of seeing stories romanticize suitors who ignore their love interests' desires, opinions, and right to say "no"?

Do you think I'm overreacting?

And have you had experiences where people trampled your boundaries and ignored your "no", and seemed to think they were doing the right thing?


I look forward to your comments.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Stephanie is the author of My Fugitive, Voice of a Silent Fugitive, Heroic Lies, and Catgirl Roommate, as well as the artist behind the Undertale webcomic Just Cause.

    This blog often updates with new stories and artwork, so please keep checking in!

    Categories

    All
    Art
    Art Tips
    Behind The Scenes
    Comic Dubs
    Don't Starve
    Excerpt
    Fan Art
    Fanfiction
    Farscape
    Flash Fiction
    Humor
    Interactive
    Just Cause
    Madoka Magica
    MCU
    Music
    Music Videos
    Observations And Opinions
    Other People's Blog Posts
    Personal Stories
    Poetry
    Print On Demand
    Reviews
    Romance Writing Tips
    Special Opportunities
    Subnautica
    The Elder Scrolls
    Underfell
    Undertale Fan Art
    Updates About My Novels
    Videos
    Wakfu
    Works In Progress
    Writing Tips

    Archive

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly